I have a question, why is it when someone is offended by another believer, that the offended party usually does not go to the one who offended him or her? And why does the offended party talk to those who are close to them without talking to the one who caused the conflict? This only causes more conflict and confusion. Deal with the issue with the individual that offended you!
If someone has caused us to be upset, our first action must be to go to the one upset us, not to someone else who has nothing to do with the situation. I am aware that we sometime feel that we must vent our disapproval to someone who sympathizes with our circumstance, but this only makes the situation worse. When we sit around and discuss the offense with others, it causes them to form opinions and make judgments about that which they have no business because they are not directly involved; then they sometimes get an attitude with the one who offended you; after that, sides are chosen, now you have division taking place. Please stop doing that! As a believer, we must be obedient to do what our Lord has instructed us to do. Jesus Himself said, “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.” (Matthew 18:15). In other words, stop running to everyone else and venting your hurt or anger about the offense. Start being a mature Christian.
When we are disobedient in following the words of Jesus regarding this issue, it will affect our worship. We must realize that the sin of hatred and anger will affect our relationship with God. We must deal with the thing that causes friction between us as believers. I have found that we may sometimes offend someone and not ever realize that we have offended them. We blindly come to worship day in and day out and not even know that someone is angry with us. If we are harboring any ill-will towards a brother or sister, we are just as guilty as the one who offended us. It is therefore the responsibility of the offended party to approach the offender, in love, and state their fault. And if we are the one that is the offender, when we are approached by the one who was offended, we need listen to him/her and humble ourselves and seek that individual’s forgiveness. It is a true brother or sister that will come share with you and I when we have failed them. Proverbs 27:6 says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Let us not be used by Satan, by not being obedient to the Word of God!
Your servant in Christ,